My boyfriend’s attitude makes me draw make

Hello Dr. Mama Zimbi, am Pat. I have been dating this guy for four years and we planned of getting married this year but his attitude makes me draw back. He reacts over every little thing and likes to drag isuess. He gets angry over the least thing I do and doesnt talk to me the whole day sometimes for days. He talks anyhow using words and phrases that are unimaginable when he gets angry. Our communication is so bad. The only conversation we have over the phone is, “how are u”?, what are u doing?, what did u eat?, OK I will talk to u later”  we do not have that kind of friendship in our relationship. 

We don’t confine in each other. When I ask him any  question I have to  repeat it severally before he will answer me. Whatever issues we will have, he calls my family and other people to tell them. He always have a way of making me look like a bad person. He is very defensive. He lacks knowledge about relationship matters which I try to talk to him about the little I know but he doesn’t take what I say but let another person tell him the same thing, he will take it. To him, holding, touching, saying romantic words is love. When I fail to do that he thinks I don’t love him. When I refuse having sex with him, he gets angry and won’t talk to me. I am so confused. I don’t know if I should go on and marry him or not. And my fear is that when I quit, I might be missing my path in life. Please help.

Does she really love me?

Hello Dr. Mama Zimbi, am Ernest. I had a little problem with my girlfriend over some few months. She went back to date her ex.  Now her ex has walked to me to warn me stay away from the lady cos he now wants to marry her. The lady has come to me pleading and crying am the one she loves so I shd forgive her and take her back. Does she really love me? Mama, advice me.

I dont know whether to quit or continue

​Hello Dr. Mama Zimbi, am am Anita 25yrs also a nurse and he is Paul 31 yrs . we’ve been in a relationship for sometime now . i saw ladies wear at his room de first day i went there, i asked him and he told me de lady is gone for about 6mounths without calling him so she will come for them. We were both happily dating and just last 2weeks he told me he has got a visitor ,I asked her where from her n he told me his friend n will go soon. I always pass there n she is still there with another girl. If i ask my guy all dat he tell me is they will go so i decided to go there and ask her some questions. 

I went n met a lady with a baby n I asked her is she a wife to Paul ? She said no but de wife is de other lady n de baby is thier son. I went to my guy work place n he told me de lady travelled for about six month without calling him n didnt tell him she was pregnant till she came last two weeks telling him she has given birth n bcos he didnt want two of dem to be in de room, he invited one of his sister to come and be with dem bcos he dont want to do anything with her. He has inform his parents so they will go to de ladys parents so dat de lady will go back as fr de child, since de lady is saying  he is de father he will accept him but lady cnt be with him so i should calm down but mama im very confuse n.   dont know wether to quit or continue. Mama, i want your help pls.

After sleeping with me, the Pastor says I am a devil who tempted him

​Hello Dr. Mama Zimbi my name is Cindy and I am 24. I met this man of God six months ago and we ve become very good friends. He’s 26. He is a total gentleman and any girl would fall in love with him including me but the problem was that I had a boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been having a lot of problems and I wanted to break up with him but I didn’t know how. The man of God invited me to his house one evening but I didn’t want to go because I am a rape victim and I know better but then again I  thought since he’s a man of GOD he wouldn’t hurt me. We were  listening to some music in his room and he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him yes. He wanted to know more about my boyfriend so I told him about our problems and he advised me to break it off if I don’t want to. 

Then he asked if he could kiss me and I agreed to get a kiss on my cheek bt things escalated and the only thing that didn’t happen was penetration. After that he told me it was a mistake and a sin which should not happen again which i agreed to. The next time I went to  his house i had just closed from work feeling extremely tired and he called to see me urgently which I did (i broke up with my bf at that time). He started kissing me which i stopped and reminded him of what he said the last time but mama he was hard and nothing i said went through his ears and i was also very tired from the hard day and he had sex with me. Honestly it was not rape bt i just laid there bcos i had no  strength to struggle with him. Again after this he came with the ” this is not right “speech again and I was very ashamed.  

Mama all this while I tot those actions meant he was in love with me but other day i stood on my ground and didn’t allow him to have sex with me but he tried to do it and after came with his usual phrase again. Mama i have been rape b4 and i couldn’t bring myself to sleep with any other guy and  now he says it’s my fault for tempting him because I made sin so he doesn’t want to see me again .  I am really hurt because I should know better and right now I feel like stabbing him in the throat. No one can ever use me like this. I forgive the worldly person who raped me but i not going to allow him to get away. Then again l know it’s not right but I can’t help it. need counseling b4 i get  crazier and put my plans into action. 

I want to sleep with my boyfriend’s father as a punishment for breaking my heart 

​Hello Dr. Mama Zimbi, am Vivian 23yrs of age and a student. My boyfriend has always been cheating on me and he had the gut to nearly rape my little sister yesterday who is 17yrs old yesterday. Its by God’s grace that i came to me the act and he said its the devil who entered because i have refused to sleep with jim for 2weeks now. I have decided  to pay him back by sleeping with his father because the man loves me and whatever I tell him to do for his son, he does it. After sleeping with the man I will take pictures and show to my guy and let him know that you don’t joke with a woman. Mama, am hurt and thinks this is the only way to hurt him too.

I have given the pregnancy to another man who I don’t love 

​Hello Dr. Mama Zimbi, am Gifty 22yrs old. I have a very big problem and I need your help. My current boyfriend  is 36yrs old and he does not make me feel like a woman in bed. Because of that anytime I visit my former guy who we are both on campus the devil push me and I sleep with him. I am now two months pregnant and I have told my current guy and he has gone to see my parents and wants to marry me before my pregnancy come out. I have not told my former guy who is 23yrs old about the pregnancy but he still sleeps with me. Mama, I must confess that I don’t know who is truly responsible for the pregnancy but I love my former guy and he is a student too. Mama I am really confuse and I don’t want to make mistakes in my life. Please advice me.

My girlfriend is a lesbian but I still love her

​Hello Dr. Mama zimbi, I am Ken, 29yrs and she is 27yrs. We’ve dated for 12yrs. We’ve planned to marry this year. She visited me last weekend, when she came, she told me she feels tired cos of a tedious work and went to bed after bathing. I saw the pattern she used to unlock her phone. I took her phone when she was asleep and glanced through her WhatsApp messages. I saw a message like ” How was the sex today” this message was sent by her close female friend. I replied her, the lady thought she was chatting my girlfriend so she sent a picture of a cucumber to me and said this will do our magic on our next meeting. 

I went offline after our chatting cos she was sending dirty messages on my lady’s phone. So I realized my wife would be is a lesbian. The next morning, I showed her the messages and asked her if it is true she is a lesbian. She said the truth and begged me that she wanted to stop, she did her best to stop but she couldn’t stop the act. She told me, she can’t marry me cos if we marry I will use this to insult or disgrace her in case of any quarrel. So I should find another woman. But Mama, I truly love her and I can’t let her go. Please advise me if I should continue with her or quit cos we are both depressed.