Romance Is A Process, Not An Event

Romance in the home is different from foreplay which shall be discussed in detail under another chapter in this book. It is important to know that romance is not foreplay. Romance covers the day to day activities, behaviour and feeling both partners share towards each other.

Romance is both a conscious and unconscious statements partners makes to each other through several means, even eye contact speaks a lot. The unconscious statements or actions of romance are instinctive in nature and cannot be readily controlled, but all depends on the settings. Romantic settings include:

1. Mind Setting
2. Environment Setting
3. Body Setting

 1.      Mind Setting

You must understand that romance in necessary. Without it your affection for each other will never develop. You must believe that your partner is your prime source of joy and happiness in the whole world and you are willing to let your partner know through the romance. Mind setting includes:

©      Remembering Birthdays and Anniversaries– Remembering your beloved’s birthday and your anniversary isn’t so much romantic as what you do for your partner on that special day.

As far as birthday presents and so forth go, you can make the gift personal by carefully considering your beloved’s interests and choosing a gift uniquely suited to her personality.

©      Your Time– One of the required ingredients of romance is sacrificing part of your time. Women normally values the time their partners have for them as the measure of how much their care about them. Remember, there’s no way out of it.

©      Read the same Romantic books one after the other– There should be times the two of you sit close to each other and read the same book like this one word for word. Even if you read a romantic novel without the knowledge of the other, convince your partner to read also. Watch Romantic movies together.

©      Go to quiet and serene places together– This includes the beach. Interestingly, the only time some couples share romantic moments together is when they are in bed at night. The two of you should move out of home sometimes and find comfortable haven away from home.

2.      Environment Setting

‘For this cause I left thee in Crete, that thou should set in order the things that are wanting…’ (1 Titus 1:5)

This is setting the things around you in order. Romance in the home is different from foreplay. The three elements to enhance when creating a romantic home are comfort, nature and the past. These three can be explained as:

• Comfort: Satisfy the senses with soothing colours for the eyes; fresh scents of herbs and flowers for the nose; delightful, mellow tactile experiences for touch.
• Nature: Let the natural lights in and keep window treatments to a minimum. Bring nature in through natural elements like flowers, vegetables, fruits, dried grasses and flowers, shells, bird nests, etc.
• The Past: Find charming antique objects like old wine bottles for use every day. An old kettle makes a delightful container for a fruit and flower arrangement.

A romantic environment includes:

©      Furniture setting-[dinning room, hall, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom]

©      Room scent– the smell of your room should always be pleasant and sweet. Natural flowers scent or the cold breeze from outside is always the best.

©      Background music– Background music is romantic, and note the word “background,” because not just any music is romantic. For music to be romantic, it must be too soft to hear. Also, it may not be lively or funny or good but quickens the love hormones in you.

©      Cute Things– Teddy bears are romantic. Puppies are romantic. Those photographs where two little kids exhibit an unnatural affection for each other and only the roses are in colour are romantic.

The rule is simple. Small things are cute. If you see a food product in the supermarket that comes in a smaller package than usual, get it, because there’s a very good chance it’s cute. The same goes for travel size shampoo, toothpaste, and so on.

Some things are inherently romantic, like hearts. This is very useful, because you can pile things upon the object of your affections and win romance points without expending any additional effort or thought. The trick is to figure out what is romantic and what is not. There is a basic rule of thumb to follow: if it’s cool, it’s not romantic.

©      Low Light– Candles are romantic. Sunrises and sunsets are romantic. Any kind of low light you see, is romantic, hence dinner dates after dark are more romantic than lunch dates at noon.

Combine low light sources, and it stands to reason that the air of romance will be so thick, your beloved will be blind to anything else but the radiance of her shimmering knight in armour. Open the curtains on a sunset and light some candles, and you might even be able to get away with watching a football game during dinner.

©      Red and Pink Colour– Red and pink are romantic, because red is the colour of love and passion and pink is the beauty. Consider roses. Red roses mean, “I love you.” Yellow roses mean, “Let’s just be friends,” which is synonymous with, “You are irritating, and I hate you.”

So you do not want to be wrong. Get her red or pink roses, red or pink ribbons, red or pink balloons, red or pink teddy bears, red or pink dresses and jewels and she’ll fall hopelessly under your spell.

©      Chocolates– Chocolates are not only romantic, they’re complimentary. When you give a box of chocolates to your beloved, it says, “You are still the apple of my eye.” It doesn’t matter if it’s true — it’s the message that counts. But the real reason to give your loved one chocolate is because any loved one worth her salt will turn right around and offer you some. It’s a win-win no matter how you look at it.

©      Personal Stuff– Romance is personal. To be romantic, you must be personal and do personal kind of things. It’s sort of romantic to buy an expensive greeting card for your loved one, but to be really romantic, you should sign it.

Even when a woman comes homes late and she is not able to cook that evening, she can buy some kenkey from town. But to make that supper romantic, she needs to add her personal touch. She must add sliced tomatoes and onions which she does herself.

©      Expensive Coke also works. Expensive Coke is taking her to a very long distance far away from home, and buying her just a bottle of soft drink. Flowers always work.

3.      Body Setting

This is thorough cleanliness of the body which entails shaving, brushing, bathing, use of good perfume and deodorant to make your body attractive and pleasant. Cleanliness must cover the:

©      Mouth-[teeth, tongue, breath]

©      Nails-[fingers, toes]

©      Ears and Nose

©      Private parts-[vagina, penis and testicles, armpit]

©       Underwear-[panties, brassieres, nightwear, boxer shorts, singlet]

Let me state here that, no woman should buy her nightwear on her own. Women nightwear should be bought by their husbands.

©       Make ups-[hair, face, skin]

In these modern times, beauty does not just lie in the eyes of the beholder, but it appreciates or depreciates with time and familiarity in the eyes of the beholder.

Complete beauty consists of both inner and outer beauty. Whilst the inner beauty is innate and evolves from the hidden personality of the woman, outer beauty can be bought. Every woman must look attractive and sexy. Use the best of make-up if necessary including new hair styles, manicure, pedicures and the best of body creams.